Tears of Memories, Laughter from Love
by SwanDestiny
Summary: Meilin will never be able to forget the pain of her father's death, and the betrayal that cost her friends so much during the war with the Conquerers. One year after the war of the Conquerers and the Greencloaks, when Meilin tries to soothe all of her fears and worries, and Rollan finds her crying near the docks. Can Rollan help Meilin move on from the past?


_Disclaimer: SwanDestiny doesn't own the Spirit Animals series._

* * *

Meilin stared into the never-ending stars, watching as they glimmered and glistened like the tears stinging at her eyes. It's been one year, since the Greencloak and Conquerers war. The darkness of the night seemed to swallow her and hold her tight in it's embrace, letting every single tear that falls become one of the fallen stars of the war, every single tears symbolizing everything that has gone wrong.

She was weeping with the sky, not sure whether she was extremely grateful or downright miserable. So much happiness and joy she discovered was on this journey, so many things learned, yet so many things lost. She made so many friends, changed so much, discovered what it really meant to be a Greencloak, the true meaning of a spirit animal, and betrayed them in a traitorous way.

Meilin drank the Bile.

It wasn't exactly her fault that the enemy was always on their tails, and that she had to fight against her friends at the battles nearing the end of the war. The Bile was controlling her. Yet, it was all her fault the same way.

"I killed my father," Meilin sobbed. "He's dead. And he'll never be alive again."

In a flash of light, Meilin summoned Jhi from the tattoo on her hand. Jhi nuzzled Meilin with the warmth of her soft pitch-black and snow-white fur, Meilin carressing the panda and crying into Jhi's fur. "I'm sorry Jhi, for all the pain I caused you..."

Jhi looked up at Meilin in her adorable way, tiltin her head as she stared into Meilin's eyes. Meilin felt her fears soothe as she watched the pools of chocolate brown and black mix together to create something so comforting. Within those eyes, Meilin felt intelligence, a warrior, healing, and understanding.

Meilin gripped Jhi's fur. A coziness spread through her body as Meilin realized that Jhi was licking her face, healing her inner wounds.

"T-thanks..."

Meilin looked up from Jhi's fur, now soaking wet with her tears. As Meilin let go of Jhi, Jhi ambled away a few steps before shaking all the water off of her fur. Some water splashed at Meilin's face as she managed to crack a smile. She looked on at the sight in front of her - the shining water of the ocean, the comforting sounds of the waves washing over the rocks of the beach, like the whispers of the night. The waves tumbled, continuously on forever and ever, never stopping. The moonlight reflected on the waters, giving the ocean a look of a sacred pond full of fairies. Meilin laughed to herself. Of course, fairies didn't exist.

"Miracles do though," Meilin quietly murmured.

Hearing her voice Jhi lumbered to Meilin's side. "What do you want, Jhi?"

Jhi sniffed Meilin before letting out a tiny yelp. It felt like Meilin could almost understand Jhi, like the one time she dreamed about the garden and heard Jhi's voice. Once, her spirit animal was able to talk.

Meilin smiled, "I know. I should move on. But it is hard to go forward when there's so many things to think about in the past."

Jhi let out a low rumble, as if saying, _The past is something you can't abandon._

"That's true. I've changed a lot, haven't I?"

Meilin thought back to a time to when she took Jhi for granted and was disappointed in her spirit animal. Now, she couldn't imagine a world without Jhi. "I'm so sorry for everything I've done..." Meilin choked on her words as more tears came to her eyes.

Jhi just shook her head.

"I'm grateful for you. And for all of my friends, Abeke, Connor... and Rollan. The whole time I was kept with the Conquerers, I imagined him being by my side,"

Jhi pushed Meilin's shoulder with her nose as Meilin blushed. "Maybe not that, but..."

Their 'conversation' fell silent as a gentle breeze hushed all of their words away. Meilin sucked in a deep breathe, breathing in the sweet cool air.

"I started out so differently from Rollan," Meilin mused. "Then I lost my home and my father, and I was at the breaking point. Rollan found his mother. He found his family, I lost mine."

Jhi made no move, so Meilin continued on.

"Sometimes, it feels like I'm all alone. Now though, I know that I'm never alone. That I'll always have my friends by my side."

Meilin closed her eyes before laying down on the wooden planks of the dock next to Greenhaven. _It's so calm and peaceful..._

"OUCH!"

 _What?!_

Meilin quickly got up with the quick reflexes she gained from all of her training, snatching her dagger from the side of her belt. Locating where the sound came from, Meilin quickly advanced to a nearby bush, holding out her dagger with caution. "Who's there?!"

 _That voice does sound familiar though..._

"Yeesh, Meilin! It's just me,"

Meilin definitely knew this voice. "Rollan?" She asked with confusion, "What are you doing out here?"

Rollan brushed off all the leaves and twigs over his worn clothes before giving her a wry smile, "I could ask you the same thing."

Heaving in a deep sigh, Meilin held out her hand for Jhi. In a quick flash, Jhi disappeared onto the tattoo on her hand. There was nothing she could do about Rollan being here now.

 _Hopefully he didn't hear much..._

"So how long have you been here?" Meilin asked wearily.

Rollan shrugged. "I was up for a midnight snack, and decided to take a walk outside. I then heard crying, and I saw you. So now I'm here."

Meilin's cheeks were tinged pink and she felt heat rise to her face. He was here when she was crying? And he heard almost everything? And her one-sided conversation with Jhi, which is basically like talking to herself, except not really... Not that Rollan would understand! Unless he had conversations with Essix, which wasn't likely with the type of brain he has.

By now, Meilin's heart was both fuming and fluttering at the same time. Not a very good combination.

"How much did you hear?" Meilin said through gritted teeth, her heart pounding in her ears.

"Just about everything with your heartwarming conversation with Jhi," Rollan said casually. "You know, you don't have to be so angry-"

"YOU IDIOT!" Meilin struck Rollan in the shoulder as he yelped, stumbling a few feet back.

"I meant to do that," Meilin said sullenly.

"I'm sorry!" Rollan tried desperately. "It's just that... You're right, Meilin. You aren't alone. You could tell us anything. You could tell _me_ ,"

Meilin lowered her fist, her features softening. "I'm sorry too," She admitted. "For striking you, I mean."

Rollan gave her a small smile.

"Let's head back then,"

* * *

"So what's up with your midnight cravings?" Meilin asked sarcastically as Rollan stuffed chicken down his throat.

"You could leave if you want,"

The thing was though, Meilin didn't want to leave. Ever since they went to seek out Suka the polar bear, Meilin felt more connected to Rollan. When he offered her to try out the talisman, Meilin realized how different Rollan was from the other boys - how he gave her an object of power, a talisman, instead of flowers. When Meilin got taken away by the Conquerers, completely controlled by the Bile, Meilin imagined Rollan being by her side the whole time. When Rollan slashed away her binds, Meilin felt awestruck. And when Rollan kissed her, Meilin had been secretly infaturated with him ever since.

Meilin examined Rollan's picnic, and her eye caught on to a fruit that is commonly seen around many parts of Zhong. Meilin smiled bitterly, thinking back to a time when her father would always give her the berries after a long training session. Meilin swiftly turned away from Rollan, blinking away tears.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah," Meilin said, her voice slightly cracking, "Everything's fine."

Before long, more tears were streaming down her face. _Stop crying, Meilin. You have to leave that part of your life behind to keep on moving forward._

Rollan was silent for a second. Meilin almost thought that he left, not wanting to stay around some kind of crybaby like her. _To think that I used to view myself as a tough, unstoppable girl. Pathetic._

Suddenly, a hand was clamped on her shoulder. Meilin turned back to see Rollan with an expressionless face.

"Don't cry, Meilin."

Somehow, that made her cry even harder.

 _I'm so stupid,_ Meilin thought to herself, trying to tell herself that there was no reason to cry, that this was all stupid, and to just stop crying.

She was making a fool out of herself in front of Rollan.

"It's hard to forget the things we've done and been through," Rollan said quietly.

"I- I'm trying," Meilin said softly, wiping the tears from her face. _Stop. Crying._ What was she even trying for?

Meilin shook off Rollan's hand, not looking at Rollan's slightly hurt face.

"I'm fine, Rollan,"

"You don't really look like it,"

"I said I'm okay,"

Rollan didn't have anything to say back. Wordlessly, he wrapped her into a warm and tight embrace.

"I thought I lost my mother once," Rollan said, his voice slightly trembling. The words and actions made Meilin's heart stopped before it started beating a thousand times faster. "And now I have her back. It was hard to see her controlled by the Bile, and it was hard to leave her. We can always regret our desicions, but we'll have to leave the guilt behind eventually. I talked to my mother about this, and she managed to make me pull through. Weren't you talking to Jhi?"

The two held each other for a few seconds, Meilin burying her head into Rollan's shoulder.

"It's hard to know that I'll never have those moments with my father again," Meilin sniffled. _This isn't like me. Pull through, Meilin! You are a warrior!_ Meilin just ignored her thoughts.

Rollan nodded. "I thought my mother abandonded me when I needed her most. Meilin, I'll always be here for you. We all will,"

Meilin looked up, awestruck by Rollan's speech. Through all of her salty tears broke out a smile. "I didn't know you were so capable of speeches,"

Rollan grinned back at her.

At that second, Meilin promised herself to never cry over the past again, and mostly, her father. Her father would look down at her from where he was now, and Meilin knew that he was proud of her, and that she knew what a true warrior was now. Fierce, furious, passionate, and caring. That was what she really was.

Meilin beamed at the ceiling, leaning into the warmth that Rollan was providing her-

Wait.

Rollan?

"I hate you!" Meilin pushed away a slightly shocked but amused Rollan. Her words came out more feeble and timid than she intended them too. Meilin gritted her teeth. _Curse you, Rollan... Trying to tug at my heartstrings and make me feel like complete mush._

"You know you love me!" Rollan teased.

Meilin pulled on the collar of Rollan's shirt, growling. Rollan almost expected Meilin to slap him really hard and make him cry out in pain while she laughed him, and braced himself for the a very painful hit from Meilin.

"Sorry?"

Meilin bit her lip, almost smiling. Rollan sighed in relief, knowing that Meilin wasn't completely serious, which was good.

"You idiot," She said quietly, shaking her head. "I do love you," Meilin smirked before pulling the collar of Rollan's shirt forward, causing their lips to collide together.

Rollan was almost as shocked by Meilin's words and by Meilin's kiss by what he would've felt by getting punched in the gut by Meilin herself. _What? I mean, sure we kissed once, and that was barely anything!_

"Rollan," Meilin breathed against his lips, scared that Rollan didn't even respond to her kiss. "I swear, if you don't even-"

That seemed to be what Rollan needed to shake himself out of his utterly surprised and paralyzed state.

Meilin felt a slight thump of the wall behind her. Rollan was kissing her back, and her heart fluttered a little bit. She felt as light as a cloud, all of her worries left behind, leading all to this wonderful sensation...

Soon, they broke apart, gasping for air.

"How do you feel now?" Meilin wasn't sure if Rollan was asking that with sarcasm dripping from his voice or actually being genuine.

"I would be better if you weren't so stupid," Meilin panted, her hands clutching the stone wall of the basement.

Rollan smiled. "I've been waiting for that kiss ever since the final battle,"

"You've really changed a lot. Both of us," Meilin commented quietly, staring at Rollan's brown eyes.

"This war has brought a lot of troubles for the both of us, and everybody else," Rollan said. "It also brought me so many good friends... And you,"

"I think I'm finally going to move on now..."

The two stayed quiet for a moment.

"I love you too, Meilin,"

Meilin felt her heart do another dance. Wrapping her arms around Rollan's neck, they both leaned in for another kiss, their worries, regrets, hopes, and dreams becoming one.


End file.
